Author: Lana Kaczmarek

“How long, O LORD? I cry for help, but you do not listen!” O Lord, how could we ever think you don’t care, you never listen, that you would purposely turn your back on us or permit your gracious beautiful ears not to hear our prayer or pleading. That you would choose to ignore the sound of our cries, our tears from being heard as they drench our pillows by night and pound the pavement during the day. Who could ever think or ever believe that you stopped listening so long ago at the anguish of creation, the moaning of our broken humanity or the foul and dreadful sound of our cursing and yelling, our profanity, and the obscenities we hurl at you and at one another. The blasphemies we utter in the darkness, the talking back to our parents, the gossiping of our neighbors or the slander of our closest friends. Who could think that you don’t hear it or choose to turn a deaf ear or wish that all the noise would go away. O Lord, why would we ever think that you don’t like the sound of our voice, the terrible sound of our singing, the silence we never offer or the chattering that never seems to cease. You love us, Lord. We are your beloved children. Who wouldn’t want to hear your beautiful children at play or even complain. The eco in our hearts, the thoughts on our brain, the movement of our spirit, the laughter, the song, the praise. All is magical to you, a brilliant symphony, the song of creation. To hear your children in prayer, whether praying or pleading, begging, or singing, asking, or giving, it is all a sweet song of creation. Like the breeze of a tree, or the song of a bird, or the croaking of a frog, or the buzzing of a bee, or the ocean quiet or yelling, the softness of a snowflake, the banging of a woodpecker, the raging of an angry sea, the stillness of a placid lake, the beauty of a mountaintop, even an angry adult or mischievous child is beautiful in your eyes. What hurts you O Lord, is when we turn on you or ignore you. When we say we are mad at you or we stop talking to you or even worst, we ignore you and stop praying or saying I love you or I am sorry, please forgive me. Our voice is your voice when your Word is heard. Thank you, Lord for listening to me.

“Pursue righteousness, devotion, faith, love, patience, and gentleness.” Who are you? Who do you claim to be? What do others say about you? How have others defined or redefined you? Who do you now have to be to keep up with the copied image you now portray yourself to be? It’s challenging, difficult and exhausting trying to be someone else so will the real you please come forward. Not the fake persona or the stolen identity you want others to believe is really you or the person created out of envy, shame, or jealousy but the real you God so graciously created in his divine image and likeness that he calls very good and is pleasing and a joy to know. At times, our exaggerated exterior self is in quick and hot pursuit of identity masks to hide behind or seeking accessories to accessorize and build up a new self-image or obtain a quick-change outer garment to quickly be someone different at work, be someone different at home and even have a different private secret identity when no one is looking or when no one else is physically around. Our profile says one thing, our online pictures show someone else. What we say or do can say one thing about ourselves and depending on who is around can say something different about us. Either way, our true self doesn’t shine through. We hide, we worry, we will not show or invite others to see the goodness God has chosen to place deep inside of us. World views, peer pressure, family and friend influences, fake personas, desired successes, and competitive milestones can shape or reshape our true person. Simply wanting to be a different version of who you really are can overwhelm and dominate us so we choose to be someone different perhaps the person everyone else wants us to be or the person we think will make us the happiest. If we look into a mirror with honest intent, without lies or deceit, we will find the person God happily created you to be.  For God graciously looks so beyond what you can see and sees the beautiful, best version of you that you were meant to be. God placed deep down inside of you the grace of righteousness, and the gift of deep devotion to God and to goodness. God gave you everlasting faith and unconditional love to match it. He flooded you with eternal holy patience and blessed gentleness beyond measure to be the real true self He graciously created you to be.  

“In every place the men should pray, lifting up holy hands, without anger or argument.” From time to time, a deep penetrating image emerges from a depth inside of me that calls out and invites me to be like the Holy Family. To be like them, just like Jesus, Joseph and Mary, a person of faith, a person of honor, a person of prayer. To have the Holy Family’s faith and confidence to trust that I am not alone, that God knows
everything and in his particular love and desire for me, he will provide all for me, everything I need, not only in super abundant overflowing grace but in a manner that will bring the greatest joy to he and to poor me. The honor in not only living out the baptismal promises to love, believe and honor God with all one’s heart, strength, soul and being but to honor God’s promises, commitments, responsibilities, commandments not
simply out of obligation but because of the great love and honor God has for me and all humanity. To pray as Jesus, Mary and Joseph pray. To pray in the way Jesus prayed silently in the manger, on the day he was baptized, every time he went to the temple, to the mountain, to his Sacred Heart, to pray to God our Father. To pray as Jesus taught the disciples to pray. To pray with his spirit of abandonment when he commended his
spirit to the Father. To pray with a spirit of poverty, a spirit of intention and a spirit of interior peace as Jesus did in temptations, in the desert and every person he came to meet. To ponder with a contemplative spirit like Mary.

To pray with interior silence like Joseph. To pray like Abraham, Moses, David, Esther, Simeon, Anna and all the
prophets, angels, and saints. To pray knowing someone is listening. To pray like my life depends on it, like lifesaving oxygen that needs to bring God’s breath to my soul, spirit, heart, and lungs. To pray because I need spiritual food for the journey because my spirit and soul are parched without you. To pray because
that is what I need to do to remain and be in communion with you. O Lord, you are my prayer, my song, the lifting up of holy hands, the being lifted up to your presence, the answer we need, and so have longed for. The grace that brings us healing, gratitude and relief. Lord you are the prayer, the answer, all that we need.

“With their patience worn out by the journey, the people complained against God and Moses.”  Dissatisfaction is such an ugly thing.  Whenever we are dissatisfied, gray skies suddenly appear and the stormy rage of our anger and disappointment kicks in to high gear and the world comes to know and listen to just how dissatisfied we are.  Just think about the time someone encouraged you to go to that trendy, new restaurant that everyone brags about, however the food and service was mediocre or poor at best.  How about all the hype and building up that amazing performance or hit play?  All the planning, preparing, waiting, anticipating only to find out the day of you forgot to hit send to finalize the payment or your best friend conveniently forgot to purchase you a ticket.  Major heart burn and disappointment. No longer best friends.  We can apply it across our lives in general.  How many other times or circumstances have we experienced a letdown, a lie across the board, a building up of anticipation, only to experience a quick letdown, a bursting of our bubble?  Dissatisfaction is bitter to taste. Upsets our day and stomach as well.  Our patience wears thin quickly, our kindness runs dry very fast.  We become agitated at the disillusion, upset at the lack of control, unhappy with the lack of planning, unfavorable to the outcome and the decisions that were taken or made.  Our language is unpleasant, our demeanor uncalled for, our lack of charity noticed, and our yelling heard by all.  Dissatisfied, we complain to God, to anyone or to any stranger who will listen.  “Get me your manager.”  “What is your boss’s name?”  “Who is in charge here?  “I’m telling your mom and dad.”  When things suddenly change or shift, when we don’t get what we ordered or asked for, when the due date is missed, or they sent us in the wrong direction or to the wrong place, our dissatisfaction is heard by God and others and our genuine disappoint is felt and that is understandable.  You were so looking forward to that trip, concert, or grade.  You hoped so much for that job and hoped it would finally come through.  You worked so tirelessly on improving that relationship, invested so much social time, energy, and money only to be hurt, unappreciated, used, tossed to the side.  Major disappointments and heartaches.  The memory alone hurts. The thought still causes anger and unpleasantness, but God always nourishes, heals, and satisfies especially when we are hurting, disappointed and majorly dissatisfied.     

“Who can know God’s counsel, or who can conceive what the LORD intends?”  Knowing can be considered in part or truly perceived and conceived wholly as both gift and a blessing but also considered a curse, something to be avoided, frowned upon, is unreliable, should be negated as untrue.  True knowledge, the kind that comes from the heart, is inspired by Jesus, given to us by the Holy Spirit, can never change or be adapted or conformed to our own personal logic or reasoning but rather, leads us to the greatest gifts of freedom, goodness, beauty, trust, and truth. This knowledge, of knowing God really, more intimately, from the heart and not simply from books helps us to better understand and acknowledge who we are and who we are meant to be.  We are God’s beloved children, His prized possession, guarded as the apple of His eye, the blessed fruit and work of His hands, the love of His life, the constant thought of His heart, what causes Him to rejoice, celebrate and say, “I am your God, and you are my people.”  This knowledge is not faint or fading but growing and alive in us.  Even if you don’t believe it, fail to perceive it, choose not to understand it, or decide not to know it, it doesn’t change the fact that it is all true.  God love us, He loves you with a love that is eternal that you could never change even if you choose to.  Knowing the Lord, really knowing Him as the eternal God head knowledge given to us in Spirit and Truth helps us to experience, truly experience the intimate felt knowledge given to us in Spirit and Truth in and through the Gospel, the Proclaimed Word, in and through the Eucharist the Proclaimed Word made Flesh and in and through the Church, our Mother Mary, the Sacraments and All the Holy Angels and Saints, we truly encounter Christ, the Wisdom and Knowledge of God that suffers for love of us but loves us for the sake of knowing us.  This knowledge heals what is broken and hurting, lifts what has fallen from grace, restores what was made ugly through sin, seeks out what is lost, stolen, or given away and brings back to life what has died in us.  This knowledge wants you to know, believe and trust in the love God has for us and the personal, specific, and intimate love He has just for you.  To truly know God this way, is to truly know love.

“My child, conduct your affairs with humility, and you will be loved more than a giver of gifts.” Humility is so difficult for us. Not because it is a difficult thing to do, humility is our destiny, our inmost created nature, the source of our created being but because we tend to see it as a weakness, as something to be scorned, avoided, dreaded at all costs. We believe, or rather we have come to believe by the bias of society and the teaching of our upbringing, that being humble is not for us but for them, the poor and weak. We are taught from a very young age to become independent, self-assured, self-reliant, confident, strong-willed, and proud. Be happy, be successful, be free. Become what you want or desire. Become anything you wish but avoid being considered helpless or needy. Pride unfortunately, for many, is the object of our affection, the source of our decisions and the goal we seek to attain. We want others to be proud of us. We take pride in our accomplishments. We celebrate with pride the winning team, but at what cost? Can we be proud without being overly inflated? Can we be happy with our accomplishments without boasting excessively about it? Can we celebrate the winning team without humiliating the other team, opponent, or player? Pride is about ego. It feeds, inflates, and over encourages the self. Pride nourishes selfishness, it feeds arrogance, and it mocks everyone else for who can do it better than you? Who can possibly be better than you? Who in your eyes and mind is considered the best, so much better than everyone else?  Pride is mirror seeking, accomplishing nothing, an attention grabber and a title stealer. Who wants that? A prideful person. Humility on the other hand, is unnoticed, quiet, unassuming, in the background always not seeking fame or attention but ready to lend a helping hand. Humility mirrors and models God for God so loved the world He sent His only Son. Jesus so loves the Father and all the created world that He humbled Himself to the point of death on a cross. Jesus humbled Himself in the Incarnation, His baptism, throughout His ministry, as He washed His disciple’s feet, was rejected by family, priests, close friends, and distant enemies. Jesus remains humble in every prayer, when the Gospel is proclaimed, Mass is celebrated, Communion distributed, mercy served and in every creature who chooses another god or fails to pray. Jesus even remains humble when you’re mad at Him.

“Thus says the LORD: I know their works and their thoughts.” What do you know, really know without a doubt, can truly save you, can never change, will remain eternal, and will never cease to be true even if you do not think so or say so? What do you really know is eternal and can never change? The knowledge we hold can be useful, but also it can be hurtful depending on how it is used. True knowledge can assist us in making life-changing and life-saving decisions that are helpful to us, our coworkers, family, friends, and all humanity. The kind of knowledge we honestly gain and confidently impart to others, our youth, young people and everyone in general to help others improve their state in life, assist in medical advancement, can provide useful tools and resources to care for the unborn, the brokenhearted, the poor, the elderly- safeguard our children and provide basic goods and healthcare to those who are unable or unwilling to provide it for themselves. This type of knowledge is helpful to everyone. At times, unfortunately, we seek knowledge to hurt or wound others, or we obtain private, confidential information to tarnish another’s reputation to advance our own image or status in life. When we seek out information that can be self-incriminating or to substantially damage the credibility of another simply for pleasure or to prove a point or for selfish gain or upper hand benefits, we use knowledge not to assist or help another but rather to destroy, cheat and lie to another in order to give the impression that we are good, okay or better. That kind of knowledge is not helpful to anyone. True knowledge that is most helpful to us and to everyone else is to know God with all our heart, mind, strength and being. To know our Lord, God, and Savior, who has loved us for an eternity with all His heart, mind, strength, poverty, Spirit and being.  This knowledge is both helpful and eternal and can never change even if you don’t believe it or ever had the grace to experience it. Know that God has forgiven you, truly forgiven you, even if you do not think so. Know God will never leave or abandon you even if you say He has. Know without a doubt, the Lord is always with you and will provide for you, even if you act independently, don’t think you need Him and are rich beyond God’s blessing. God knows He loves you.

“He is in your power”.  The fear of being powerless, of being without power or control, unable to influence others in matters or situations of most importance to us, unfortunately, already renders us powerless, helpless, without a means or a cause to effect any change or influence others. We dread being powerless, at the mercy of another. Perhaps we might not have been as merciful as our Heavenly Father asks us to be, or others have taken advantage of our good works, or we simply dislike not being in the driver’s seat. Either way, the thought of not being in control or having to rely on another’s charity or worse being indebted to another’s mercy for whatever reason is simply a most frightening thought. For the most part, we like to believe we are always in control of most of daily situations, the people we encounter, our sphere of influence. We like to boast how we handled a certain situation, told another what to do or were able to get someone to change their mind – give way to your command or do what you demanded after you yelled or screamed, raised your voice, pointed your finger, or slammed the door. Sound familiar? Beginning to sound like a person that is powerless and has lost control? The fear of being powerless, helpless, or losing control causes us to want to take immediate action, to dominate the scene, act with a sense of urgency, take control of the moment in a spirit of self-reliance, relying on no one else. Our mindset is to never become needy for who can do it better? Who could know better? Who will treat you better than yourself? I simply love the helplessness and powerlessness of God. Who better than the Lord knows our self-seeking nature, our selfish ambition, the fear caused by sin and the nasty effects of powerlessness and yet in His incarnation, throughout His hidden years, in His presentation, baptism, ministry, agony, passion, death and resurrection, our Lord graciously made Himself powerless; entrusting Himself to our poor, impoverished, weak humanity. Jesus graciously, freely, without fear or trepidation, handed Himself over to all humanity, to betrayers, to sinners and saints as well. Our poor Jesus freely handed Himself over to the controlling power of man – helpless, powerless, needy, trustingly and in love.     

“By faith Abraham obeyed when he was called; not knowing where he was to go.” In Ignatian Spirituality, we are invited to prayerfully consider our life as a great adventure and an amazing spiritual journey. We are invited not to remain stuck in our past, in our sin, in our vice, shortcomings or failures. Rather, we are encouraged to advance in the spiritual realm and leave behind that which is fleshy, fading and fleeting. We progress in and through a spiritual life grounded in faith, hope and in prayer- that moves ever so slowly, quickly or gently from one state to another – that is from bad to good or from good to better. It is a progress that progresses from the understanding that we seek the Lord our God in all things and when we find Him. We encounter a personal God who wishes to free us, heal us, make our lives fruitful, better, easier by placing all our hope and trust in Him – confident that the Good Shepherd never wavers, tires, rests or stops pursuing and seeking the lost sheep, the aching members, the most poor and needy of his glorious flock. When a person encounters the Divine Physician, He removes the blocks and barriers, the obstacles and hurdles, the speed bumps and fences, the significant childhood pains and major life stresses that only faith, hope, love and trust can provide. Our gracious Lord invites us on this great adventure to join Him on the journey of life and the spiritual movements of heart that help us go from what seems not that great to allowing God’s grace and spirit to bring us to a place that is better on this spiritual pilgrimage our Lord has won and gained for us- giving us all the confidence to know and believe with unwavering faith that we must persevere in and through prayer. At times, unfortunately, we lose heart and lack faith to believe our Lord is journeying with us and will never abandon us. We go from believing to seriously doubting in a second flat- from confidence to doubt, from good to bad, from better to worst, from the present to the past, from doing good to promoting evil. Our spiritual journey is meant to move us forward, closer to God through scripture, in communion and deeper intimacy with God. We are not meant to return to evil or return to sin again. Contrition of heart, amendment of life, changing our ways, faithfully drawing closer to God is a confident step in the right direction.  

“Stop lying to one another.” At the heart of our human condition, is a most profound and an increasing and unfortunate sadness that plagues our children, our families, our society and even ourselves. We simply keep lying to one another to the point that we prefer a lie to the truth. We say the truth hurts when Jesus teaches us the truth always sets us free. Unfortunately, we have grown old and so accustomed to lying that at times we even encourage our children and one another to forgo telling the truth. We unfortunately believe it is more advantageous to tell a lie. It is more profitable and more likely to keep us from harm or from trouble with the law or in-laws, with our relatives, our spouses and our employers. What a lie that is, is becoming and has plagued our way of relating to one another in this world. We minimize and eliminate the truth. We omit certain parts and embellish others. We mask the truth with a lie and then we lie about it. We twist and stretch the truth. We manipulate it, transform and enhance it. We believe “a little white lie,” “a small exaggeration,” “a stretching of the truth,” is okay. It doesn’t hurt anyone. No one will know the difference and yet you do, and we still choose to do it. Lying is not from God. It is a vice not a virtue.  It is wrong and could never be perceived as something that is good and that anything good can flow and come from a lie. The truth is Jesus is the Way, the only Way to the Father, to heaven, to eternity, to our family and friends who have gone before us in faith and now rest in eternal peace. Jesus is the Truth that sets us free – the Truth that no one can love us better – the Truth that God so loves us that He sent His only Son to die freely and lovingly for you and me. Jesus is the Life that the Father gave us who lived only in truth and truly suffered and died because of one lie and the many lies of others. If you lie to another, you are only deceiving and lying to yourself. It is not real; it didn’t really happen that way. A lie does not change or alter the truth – just your perspective on it and what you want others to believe is true. A lie is harmful. No good decision can come from it.