Author: Lana Kaczmarek

“Lord, on the day I called for help, you answered me.” The fear of being helpless terrifies us. For some, it consumes our mental state – thinking about it, worrying about it. It really can petrify us. We drown in fear, worry, helplessness – in the concern of being left alone with no support and no one around to assist us in our time of trouble and greatest need. It terrifies our state of being. It challenges our mental state and spiritual senses.  It overwhelms and overtakes our peace. We consider those daunting thoughts: What if I am left alone? What if no one shows? What if I call out and no one hears me? What if I ask for assistance and they ignore me, forget me, leave me alone, never respond? The fear of helplessness is a terrible thing and a great pain to experience- facing our finiteness and knowing we cannot do it on our own. We can experience that terrible and dreadful feeling of helplessness when we cannot control the outcome, change a person’s mind, protect our children from harm or danger or must work a dead-end job. We can feel helpless when a friend or family member loses a loved one or we experience the loss of a job, the loss of that long time, childhood friend or a pet. We can feel helpless when the weather does not cooperate with our plans, when we encounter corrupted people or experience selfish minds… when impatience devours our mind and anger eats up precious time, when the traffic light won’t change quickly enough, when other drivers do not get out of the way, when it seems the slowest people on earth will make you late again. We can even feel helpless when we just don’t want to or cannot seem to pray for assistance and ask God for strength and encouragement. It is a terrible thing to encounter and a dreadful thing to consider, needing help, asking for it and there is not a soul or helpful person to be found. You know that dreadful, helpless feeling but God will never let you down. God is always around helplessly listening for the cries of those who need His help.

“If I may ask you this favor, please do not go on past your servant.” One of the many things that truly astounds me as I grow in a greater understanding of our faith, mature in spiritual confidence, come to a greater awareness of myself and become more truly informed and enlightened in this spiritual age is the lack of awareness, knowledge and understanding I possess in knowing and remembering that God is truly with me always, every day. To remember and never forget that God is truly by me, standing always by my side. He is always listening to me, to all I say, pouring His life in me always, always sharing the mutual grace that leads me and sustains me, providing all the love that bonds us and binds us always, united in a bond of holy covenant, binding us to each other in a sacred union that can never be broken, separated, undone or ever forgotten. God is always standing by me, with me, by my side, from the inside always. That is such a profound reality that should never be dismissed or forgotten. Then why is it at times that I fail to always remember that the Lord is always with me, never leaving or forsaking me but always uniting me more deeply through the gift of His Word and the bond of charity flowing through Holy Communion. Why is it so easy to forget and not always to remember His saving grace, to rely on His sacred presence, or to ask and beg Him to make His presence known, cherished, felt. To beg like Abraham and ask for the gracious favor that the Lord would not pass us by or to silently remain perpetually united to Him like Mary, the sister of Martha and Lazarus who quietly remained by His side from the inside as He actively remained united to her in her heart and through her prayer. Each so amazingly aware of God’s immanent presence, understanding their need for sacred union and knowing that only God could provide for what they truly needed. Like the glorious prophets and patriarchs, like all the holy angels and saints, we need to pray for a greater awareness of God’s holy presence, His nearness, his closeness to us that we may turn to Him always, making a full return to Him and not ignore or forget Him but rather remain in the knowledge of His love and His loving presence. To pray, recall, remember God is by your side always, from the inside.

Moses said to the people: “If only you would heed the voice of the LORD, your God.” Our listening skills and abilities, like our lives, are full, flooded, active and busy, so overwhelmed and overconcentrated with so much noise. So many people, groups and individuals are vying for our undivided attention. So many voices are speaking at one time, saying so many different things. There are so many different video ads, virtual people to contend with, marketing scammers, seductive websites, porn and phishing messaging, additive gaming, fraudulent apps, email texting, explicit music and horrible lyrics – all shouting, screaming, yelling, “Look at me! Listen to me!” Making empty promises, worthless points, providing unnecessary opinions, poor judgements, little lies, false claims, useless information. Yelling, “Look at me! Pay attention only to me! Listen to us! Trust me! You can count on me! Only listen to me!” With so many voices speaking at one time, at such a fast and steady pace, who can determine what they’re saying, what they mean, who is really speaking and can we trust what is being said – so much information thrown at us, so much noise distracts us. How can we truly hear truth spoken and truly hear and listen to God say what we really need to hear? How can we know the path to follow? Where is the life chosen and given to you by God who only wills the truth and the greatest good for you? It is difficult to think a lie can make us feel good or better. It is unfortunate that there is so much deception in the world and people choose and want to deceive us. They lure us to them and away from the glorious freedom of being in a great, eternal, amazing and intimate relationship and friendship with God. The Spiritual Exercises of Saint Ignatius of Loyola emphasize two main and distinctive voices that either inspire us to beauty, goodness and truth or tempt and lure us with evil desires prone to lies and things that are not good for us nor our family, coworkers or friends. Our voice and the voice of others is either inspired by the One or misled by the other. Either we hear and listen to truth like Jesus, Mary and Joseph, or we listen to lies, intentional deceptions, false advertisements and empty promises from the enemies of our human nature. Listen to God. What He has to say will save you.  

“Hear now, all you who fear God, while I declare what He has done for me.” What has God done for you? Perhaps you revise the question by adding what He has done for you or done for you lately. Consider the original question as is and its need and possible healing it might bring you. Healing provided immediately or perhaps right now. At this moment if you truly considered the question, ponder it like Mary and seriously take it to question, meditation and prayer. What has God done for you? In answering, please do so plainly and honestly after giving it thoughtful, careful observation, examination and prayer. Not by questioning what God has done for you lately as we sometimes and often do to one another. We even sometimes believe that God must provide continual and additional miracles and signs so we can thank Him or say and believe that God has done something for us.

Certainly, not what seems to be something you took notice of recently or something you mention happened some time ago or something you read in some ancient text or something that was handed down to you by prophetic utterances or ancient bible stories you listen to or heard from family members, religious friends or spiritual foes. Please tell me. I really wish to know. What has God done for you? Declare it, give witness to it like Mary, the handmaid of the Lord who graciously exults that her immaculate heart and soul ever magnifies and proclaims the greatness of the Lord and that her glorious spirit rejoices in God our Savior. Mary sings and speaks of God’s generous penetrating gaze and the delightful favor God has found in her and all humanity. She gladly proclaims and declares that the Almighty God has done great things for her and Holy is His Name. She speaks of His blessing, His mercy, His assistance, His help, His aid towards all generations past, present and to come. Mary boldly speaks of God’s blessing of beatitude. God’s favor toward the poor and hungry and the wise who trust, believe and fear Him. Mary cannot help but continually sing about what God has done for her, for us and the whole world.  So, seriously, what has God done for you lately or ever? We have much to be thankful for.  

“I will bless the Lord at all times; His praise shall be ever in my mouth.” There is a huge but such an amazing tremendous word that Jesus uses in scripture, and we celebrate in the rite and holy celebration of the Sacrament of Holy Baptism, “Ephphatha!” It means, “Be opened!” It refers to the incident and encounter of a man who was unable to hear and had a speech impediment. His family and friends brought him to Jesus and literally begged Jesus to lay his hand on him to free and cure him. We hear and experience the personal intimacy of Jesus taking the man off to the side to be away from the noisy crowd and be intimately present to the One who could heal him and set him free. We experience the personal touch of God.  It is personal, intimate. A touch that not only moves one’s heart but also moves impediments and those things that keep us from hearing and speaking with God. The gentle touch and yolk of God that removes all obstacles and frees us from the chains that bind and shackle us from the personal, direct and intimate contact with our Creator.

Note the personal touch Jesus has with the Father as He looked up into heaven, into the Father’s eyes, directly into His heart and Jesus groans, and says “Ephphatha!” And immediately the man’s ears were opened, his hearing restored, his speech impediment was removed, his mouth opened, and he spoke plainly giving glory and praise to God. That is the gift of God and of such a powerful word that really cannot describe the compassion that touched and moved the Sacred Heart of Jesus to look so tenderly in the eyes and heart of the Father and beg that this poor child of God be released from the yolk that prevented him from an intimate union and holy communion with God. Imagine, not being able to hear God or being able to speak directly to him. At baptism, our ears were touched by Jesus to listen to God’s voice and our mouths to proclaim his praise. How often we misuse the gift entrusted to us. Rather than blessing God, at times we use his name in vain. Rather than thanking and praising God, we curse him and blaspheme his Holy Name. Rather than magnify and rejoice in the Lord like our Mother Mary, we speak ill of God and even blame him for our misconduct and misdeeds. Rather than speaking bad of others, bless God instead. 

“Do this in remembrance of me.” What are the things you remember the most, that occupy your senses and consume most or all your day? Do they tend to be heartaches and headaches or grace filled moments that bring a smile to your heart and everlasting light to your day? Do you mostly recall joys and celebrations with your family and friends or recall only the hurts and sorrows and disappointments caused by broken relationships and so-called friendships that devour our precious time and eat up our mental capacity and peaceful space.  Do you tend to focus and spend more time in gratitude, in thanksgiving, in giving thanks to God and to others for the amazing lifelong blessings you can count, the incredible unexplainable successes and accomplishments, those momentous birthdays, anniversaries and joyous moments and milestone celebrations celebrated in the span of a year, two years, ten years, ever since you were born. Or do you tend to dwell in the past, drag it forward in every conversation, remain stuck in the yesteryears, cannot seem to forget or let go the ancient past with all the bad memories, insignificant failures, overly overwhelming concerns, exaggerated exaggerations and overreacting situations that did or did not quite go that way. Our memories can make a smile or a frown appear and disappear in the blink of an eye. We focus too much on negative memories and bad situations that draw us further into darkness, discouragement and despair. However, a happy thought, a wonderful memory can erase and dissipate all that.  We can enjoy a precious moment, a retreat like experience, a joy filled moment, a grace filled effect and in the blink of an eye, the enemy can rob us of the joy and smile, tranquility and peace by distracting and causing us to forget the consoling thought and focusing rather on painful memories and devasting experiences and hurts.  Jesus says, “Do this in remembrance of me.” We might ask do what?  Certainly, faithfully and reverently, celebrate and pray Mass often to recall how God our Heavenly Father sent his beloved Son Jesus into our world and lives to die for the sake of our sins to redeem us, bless us, forgive us, and heal us. To remember that unless you faithfully eat this bread and drink this cup, you cannot have life within you. To remember and know no one loves you more than this, than Jesus. That remembering how much God loves you, will help you forgive and forget those menacing bad memories and unforgiving mistakes.

“The Holy Spirit will teach you everything and remind you of all that I told you.” Our memories are so important to our daily lives and such an essential part of our ongoing living and yet they remain so fragile to us. Memories can be precious moments. The kind we wish to remain forever like a sacred keepsake but in reality, memories can also prove to be shattered hauntings that we pray will go away but seem to last and linger like a bad penny that never goes away but keeps returning and turning up when we least expect and desire them. A bad memory can be like that, always wanting you to take notice. Always wanting you to pick it up and recall the last time you experienced that painful bad memory. Always wanting you to continue the endless dialog of revisiting and reliving that painful situation again. Wanting you to pick up where you last left off and experience that unpleasant bad memory once again, forever. A good memory, on the other hand, can prove to be a powerful instrument in a critical moment of crisis. A good, holy, and pleasant memory can aid and shelter us in those unfortunate torments and dreadful moments of life. Those ongoing trials that never seem to end or go away. The haunting memories that tend to sweep us away suddenly, quickly and gradually over time from the pleasant peace that God offers us and hurls us into life’s unfortunate circumstances and storms. A happy memory can help us in those critical moments to forget the unpleasantness of difficult situations. They offer us sacred moments of God’s grace to help us recall and remember a happy thought, a blessed memory, or a pleasant moment to help us forget those unpleasant memories caused by a fall, failure or life’s embarrassing moments. Those unfortunate situations we could not change or control. Those lifelong mistakes we hope everyone forgets. Those situations that never seem to heal. Like a scab, we keep picking at it. The enemy is a master of forgetfulness but God is greater. The enemy is very good in causing us to recall and remember but God is better at it. The enemy wants us to forget God’s love. He wants us to remember our past, to recall all of our hurts, to relive traumatic experiences, to renew our sinful folly and never let go of painful failings or let go of life’s most embarrassing moments. Remember that our gracious God loves us faithfully and unconditionally. When he forgives, he truly forgets.

“Behold, I make all things new.” Most of us, given an opportunity to do so, can from our early childhood years of catechetical instruction and teaching or through the sacramental formation we received, easily recite, probably word for word, the classical definition of what is a sacrament: “The sacraments are efficacious signs of grace, instituted by Christ and entrusted to the Church, by which divine life is dispensed to us.” Nevertheless, what does that mean? What does that mean to you? How would you respond to the text? How would you describe what a sacrament is in your own words? Where is God leading you in thought and heart to consider explaining a sacrament to a child, a neighbor, a person who does not believe or to a person who has lost all hope but wants and needs to believe? Where is God graciously inviting you today to grow, know, change or simply be inspired? Given my own lack of intellectual wisdom, knowledge, and comprehension and in the little ways that I can provide any sort of explanation or can claim any confidence of understanding a textbook definition, I probably would complicate the matter and add further confusion to any definition. Thankful that God has graciously helped me to understand sacraments in simple terms and in a simple language that I can understand and in a language I can share: a sacrament is simply a life giving, lifesaving and life-changing gift from God to make us new again. When we encounter Jesus in his real presence and the gift of sacramental grace, we simply are not the same. How can anyone who truly encounters the real presence of Jesus remain unchanged? We are touched by God, changed by grace, transformed by love, made into a new creation. God makes all things new. He renews us and makes us new in, through and with the sacraments. The Church teaches us that Jesus himself, through and in the power, peace and unity of the Holy Spirit, graciously bestows himself and celebrates the sacraments with and in us. It is Jesus who truly baptized and confirmed you. In and through his poor priests, Jesus consecrates you and gives himself freely as gift to you. Jesus sanctifies you and sacramentally feeds and nourishes you in Holy Communion and through special graces in, and through and with the Blessed Sacrament, the Holy Eucharist, with his Precious Body and Blood conforms you, heals you, loves you, transforms you, restores you, makes you good, holy and new once again; a living sacrament.

“The disciples were filled with joy and the Holy Spirit.” Have you ever experienced authentic joy? That kind of joy that is real and true joy. The kind of authentic joy that simply comes deep from within? The kind of authentic joy John the Baptist displayed in his mother’s womb upon hearing the greeting of Mary’s sweet voice and upon nearing the real presence of the Lord in the holy tabernacle of Mary’s holy body and Immaculate Heart. The kind of authentic joy Mary sang in her beautiful hymn and song of Magnificat responding with great authentic joy of being the lowly handmaid and the Mother of our Lord. The kind of authentic joy that caused the disciples to leap for great joy in knowing they were found worthy to suffer imprisonment and endure harsh words and threats from local and religious authorities for proclaiming Jesus Christ crucified and risen from the dead. Authentic joy is the kind of joy that is real. It is not fake or plastic and cannot be masked or covered over by a fake put on smile, or an impersonal greeting, or a fake good morning. It is simply pure joy. A pure joy that is authentic, truly from the heart, unselfish and lives in the glorious freedom of the beloved children of God. This kind of joy is seriously authentic and childlike. Not childish as in the joy we might get in pulling off the world’s funniest prank or the joy we might get in finally proving someone wrong, or the feeling and sensation we get from embarrassing a friend or foe or even the joy we might get in doing something dirty, deceitful or illegal and never getting caught. That is not joy. We cannot and can never feel good about doing harm or wrong to another. Real authentic joy seeks the good of the other. The real joy found and experienced in doing something authentically good, helpful and truly supportive to another or someone with a special need. The kind of joy we experience from truly listening to the Holy Spirit’s promptings interiorly guide, counsel and direct us from within to the joy we manifest in doing what is truly good in God’s eyes and avoiding the evil he detests. The kind of joy that causes us to sing with our Beloved Mother Mary in knowing we are so loved, have been saved, and are now called by the Good Shepherd to graciously and joyfully follow him as he leads us to authentic joy and profound holiness.

None of the disciples dared to ask Him, “Who are you?” I think how often our person, our identity, the very source of our being, who we really are, is so often misunderstood, questioned, attacked and quite simply misguided and ever put to the test. Challenged and confronted in so many ways and questioned and threatened so many times by so many of His own people, Jesus faced the opposition’s questioning with humility, silence and truth. Those who opposed Jesus constantly questioned His identity and directly challenged His person by asking, “Who are you?” – “Who do you think you are?” Questioning is Satan’s favorite tactic and preferred method of distraction. His direct aim in disturbing our peace, stealing our joy and introducing His chaos in order to bring harm and confusion to the beloved children of God and wreak havoc on God’s glorious kingdom. We certainly know that feeling. Having to prove your own innocence so many times or regularly having to back up your own words or even constantly having your own faith, values, belief or courage challenged because of the fear and insecurities of others. When we are not certain of our own identity, who we are, who we have become, our broken image of self, the fake personas we have created, the identity crisis we interiorly face and cause, we attack others to justify who we want to be or become. This is our false, negative self. Rather than seeking God’s help and assistance to understand and know who we really are, how God wonderfully created us and the joy and freedom of being God’s glorious and beloved children, we seek to destroy the identity of another because we are not sure or certain of ourselves who we are called to become. How often for lack of control or fear of being revealed, unmasked, or properly identified as a fraud, does the darkness of our own wounds directly target and question the innocence of Jesus or that of His beloved disciples in order to feed our unfortunate sinful weakness, in order to lower the esteem of another. Our broken self-image starves our good name and our good nature then seeks to hurt and harm the good portrait of another in order to feed our own sinfulness and relieve the hurt of our own painful brokenness. Knowing Jesus personally, directly and intimately is God’s reflection of who we really are and meant to become. Jesus truly knows who He really is even if others continue to keep questioning Him. He also really knows you.