Author: Lana Kaczmarek

“In every place the men should pray, lifting up holy hands, without anger or argument.” From time to time, a deep penetrating image emerges from a depth inside of me that calls out and invites me to be like the Holy Family. To be like them, just like Jesus, Joseph and Mary, a person of faith, a person of honor, a person of prayer. To have the Holy Family’s faith and confidence to trust that I am not alone, that God knows
everything and in his particular love and desire for me, he will provide all for me, everything I need, not only in super abundant overflowing grace but in a manner that will bring the greatest joy to he and to poor me. The honor in not only living out the baptismal promises to love, believe and honor God with all one’s heart, strength, soul and being but to honor God’s promises, commitments, responsibilities, commandments not
simply out of obligation but because of the great love and honor God has for me and all humanity. To pray as Jesus, Mary and Joseph pray. To pray in the way Jesus prayed silently in the manger, on the day he was baptized, every time he went to the temple, to the mountain, to his Sacred Heart, to pray to God our Father. To pray as Jesus taught the disciples to pray. To pray with his spirit of abandonment when he commended his
spirit to the Father. To pray with a spirit of poverty, a spirit of intention and a spirit of interior peace as Jesus did in temptations, in the desert and every person he came to meet. To ponder with a contemplative spirit like Mary.

To pray with interior silence like Joseph. To pray like Abraham, Moses, David, Esther, Simeon, Anna and all the
prophets, angels, and saints. To pray knowing someone is listening. To pray like my life depends on it, like lifesaving oxygen that needs to bring God’s breath to my soul, spirit, heart, and lungs. To pray because I need spiritual food for the journey because my spirit and soul are parched without you. To pray because
that is what I need to do to remain and be in communion with you. O Lord, you are my prayer, my song, the lifting up of holy hands, the being lifted up to your presence, the answer we need, and so have longed for. The grace that brings us healing, gratitude and relief. Lord you are the prayer, the answer, all that we need.

“With their patience worn out by the journey, the people complained against God and Moses.”  Dissatisfaction is such an ugly thing.  Whenever we are dissatisfied, gray skies suddenly appear and the stormy rage of our anger and disappointment kicks in to high gear and the world comes to know and listen to just how dissatisfied we are.  Just think about the time someone encouraged you to go to that trendy, new restaurant that everyone brags about, however the food and service was mediocre or poor at best.  How about all the hype and building up that amazing performance or hit play?  All the planning, preparing, waiting, anticipating only to find out the day of you forgot to hit send to finalize the payment or your best friend conveniently forgot to purchase you a ticket.  Major heart burn and disappointment. No longer best friends.  We can apply it across our lives in general.  How many other times or circumstances have we experienced a letdown, a lie across the board, a building up of anticipation, only to experience a quick letdown, a bursting of our bubble?  Dissatisfaction is bitter to taste. Upsets our day and stomach as well.  Our patience wears thin quickly, our kindness runs dry very fast.  We become agitated at the disillusion, upset at the lack of control, unhappy with the lack of planning, unfavorable to the outcome and the decisions that were taken or made.  Our language is unpleasant, our demeanor uncalled for, our lack of charity noticed, and our yelling heard by all.  Dissatisfied, we complain to God, to anyone or to any stranger who will listen.  “Get me your manager.”  “What is your boss’s name?”  “Who is in charge here?  “I’m telling your mom and dad.”  When things suddenly change or shift, when we don’t get what we ordered or asked for, when the due date is missed, or they sent us in the wrong direction or to the wrong place, our dissatisfaction is heard by God and others and our genuine disappoint is felt and that is understandable.  You were so looking forward to that trip, concert, or grade.  You hoped so much for that job and hoped it would finally come through.  You worked so tirelessly on improving that relationship, invested so much social time, energy, and money only to be hurt, unappreciated, used, tossed to the side.  Major disappointments and heartaches.  The memory alone hurts. The thought still causes anger and unpleasantness, but God always nourishes, heals, and satisfies especially when we are hurting, disappointed and majorly dissatisfied.     

“Who can know God’s counsel, or who can conceive what the LORD intends?”  Knowing can be considered in part or truly perceived and conceived wholly as both gift and a blessing but also considered a curse, something to be avoided, frowned upon, is unreliable, should be negated as untrue.  True knowledge, the kind that comes from the heart, is inspired by Jesus, given to us by the Holy Spirit, can never change or be adapted or conformed to our own personal logic or reasoning but rather, leads us to the greatest gifts of freedom, goodness, beauty, trust, and truth. This knowledge, of knowing God really, more intimately, from the heart and not simply from books helps us to better understand and acknowledge who we are and who we are meant to be.  We are God’s beloved children, His prized possession, guarded as the apple of His eye, the blessed fruit and work of His hands, the love of His life, the constant thought of His heart, what causes Him to rejoice, celebrate and say, “I am your God, and you are my people.”  This knowledge is not faint or fading but growing and alive in us.  Even if you don’t believe it, fail to perceive it, choose not to understand it, or decide not to know it, it doesn’t change the fact that it is all true.  God love us, He loves you with a love that is eternal that you could never change even if you choose to.  Knowing the Lord, really knowing Him as the eternal God head knowledge given to us in Spirit and Truth helps us to experience, truly experience the intimate felt knowledge given to us in Spirit and Truth in and through the Gospel, the Proclaimed Word, in and through the Eucharist the Proclaimed Word made Flesh and in and through the Church, our Mother Mary, the Sacraments and All the Holy Angels and Saints, we truly encounter Christ, the Wisdom and Knowledge of God that suffers for love of us but loves us for the sake of knowing us.  This knowledge heals what is broken and hurting, lifts what has fallen from grace, restores what was made ugly through sin, seeks out what is lost, stolen, or given away and brings back to life what has died in us.  This knowledge wants you to know, believe and trust in the love God has for us and the personal, specific, and intimate love He has just for you.  To truly know God this way, is to truly know love.

“My child, conduct your affairs with humility, and you will be loved more than a giver of gifts.” Humility is so difficult for us. Not because it is a difficult thing to do, humility is our destiny, our inmost created nature, the source of our created being but because we tend to see it as a weakness, as something to be scorned, avoided, dreaded at all costs. We believe, or rather we have come to believe by the bias of society and the teaching of our upbringing, that being humble is not for us but for them, the poor and weak. We are taught from a very young age to become independent, self-assured, self-reliant, confident, strong-willed, and proud. Be happy, be successful, be free. Become what you want or desire. Become anything you wish but avoid being considered helpless or needy. Pride unfortunately, for many, is the object of our affection, the source of our decisions and the goal we seek to attain. We want others to be proud of us. We take pride in our accomplishments. We celebrate with pride the winning team, but at what cost? Can we be proud without being overly inflated? Can we be happy with our accomplishments without boasting excessively about it? Can we celebrate the winning team without humiliating the other team, opponent, or player? Pride is about ego. It feeds, inflates, and over encourages the self. Pride nourishes selfishness, it feeds arrogance, and it mocks everyone else for who can do it better than you? Who can possibly be better than you? Who in your eyes and mind is considered the best, so much better than everyone else?  Pride is mirror seeking, accomplishing nothing, an attention grabber and a title stealer. Who wants that? A prideful person. Humility on the other hand, is unnoticed, quiet, unassuming, in the background always not seeking fame or attention but ready to lend a helping hand. Humility mirrors and models God for God so loved the world He sent His only Son. Jesus so loves the Father and all the created world that He humbled Himself to the point of death on a cross. Jesus humbled Himself in the Incarnation, His baptism, throughout His ministry, as He washed His disciple’s feet, was rejected by family, priests, close friends, and distant enemies. Jesus remains humble in every prayer, when the Gospel is proclaimed, Mass is celebrated, Communion distributed, mercy served and in every creature who chooses another god or fails to pray. Jesus even remains humble when you’re mad at Him.

“Thus says the LORD: I know their works and their thoughts.” What do you know, really know without a doubt, can truly save you, can never change, will remain eternal, and will never cease to be true even if you do not think so or say so? What do you really know is eternal and can never change? The knowledge we hold can be useful, but also it can be hurtful depending on how it is used. True knowledge can assist us in making life-changing and life-saving decisions that are helpful to us, our coworkers, family, friends, and all humanity. The kind of knowledge we honestly gain and confidently impart to others, our youth, young people and everyone in general to help others improve their state in life, assist in medical advancement, can provide useful tools and resources to care for the unborn, the brokenhearted, the poor, the elderly- safeguard our children and provide basic goods and healthcare to those who are unable or unwilling to provide it for themselves. This type of knowledge is helpful to everyone. At times, unfortunately, we seek knowledge to hurt or wound others, or we obtain private, confidential information to tarnish another’s reputation to advance our own image or status in life. When we seek out information that can be self-incriminating or to substantially damage the credibility of another simply for pleasure or to prove a point or for selfish gain or upper hand benefits, we use knowledge not to assist or help another but rather to destroy, cheat and lie to another in order to give the impression that we are good, okay or better. That kind of knowledge is not helpful to anyone. True knowledge that is most helpful to us and to everyone else is to know God with all our heart, mind, strength and being. To know our Lord, God, and Savior, who has loved us for an eternity with all His heart, mind, strength, poverty, Spirit and being.  This knowledge is both helpful and eternal and can never change even if you don’t believe it or ever had the grace to experience it. Know that God has forgiven you, truly forgiven you, even if you do not think so. Know God will never leave or abandon you even if you say He has. Know without a doubt, the Lord is always with you and will provide for you, even if you act independently, don’t think you need Him and are rich beyond God’s blessing. God knows He loves you.

“He is in your power”.  The fear of being powerless, of being without power or control, unable to influence others in matters or situations of most importance to us, unfortunately, already renders us powerless, helpless, without a means or a cause to effect any change or influence others. We dread being powerless, at the mercy of another. Perhaps we might not have been as merciful as our Heavenly Father asks us to be, or others have taken advantage of our good works, or we simply dislike not being in the driver’s seat. Either way, the thought of not being in control or having to rely on another’s charity or worse being indebted to another’s mercy for whatever reason is simply a most frightening thought. For the most part, we like to believe we are always in control of most of daily situations, the people we encounter, our sphere of influence. We like to boast how we handled a certain situation, told another what to do or were able to get someone to change their mind – give way to your command or do what you demanded after you yelled or screamed, raised your voice, pointed your finger, or slammed the door. Sound familiar? Beginning to sound like a person that is powerless and has lost control? The fear of being powerless, helpless, or losing control causes us to want to take immediate action, to dominate the scene, act with a sense of urgency, take control of the moment in a spirit of self-reliance, relying on no one else. Our mindset is to never become needy for who can do it better? Who could know better? Who will treat you better than yourself? I simply love the helplessness and powerlessness of God. Who better than the Lord knows our self-seeking nature, our selfish ambition, the fear caused by sin and the nasty effects of powerlessness and yet in His incarnation, throughout His hidden years, in His presentation, baptism, ministry, agony, passion, death and resurrection, our Lord graciously made Himself powerless; entrusting Himself to our poor, impoverished, weak humanity. Jesus graciously, freely, without fear or trepidation, handed Himself over to all humanity, to betrayers, to sinners and saints as well. Our poor Jesus freely handed Himself over to the controlling power of man – helpless, powerless, needy, trustingly and in love.     

“By faith Abraham obeyed when he was called; not knowing where he was to go.” In Ignatian Spirituality, we are invited to prayerfully consider our life as a great adventure and an amazing spiritual journey. We are invited not to remain stuck in our past, in our sin, in our vice, shortcomings or failures. Rather, we are encouraged to advance in the spiritual realm and leave behind that which is fleshy, fading and fleeting. We progress in and through a spiritual life grounded in faith, hope and in prayer- that moves ever so slowly, quickly or gently from one state to another – that is from bad to good or from good to better. It is a progress that progresses from the understanding that we seek the Lord our God in all things and when we find Him. We encounter a personal God who wishes to free us, heal us, make our lives fruitful, better, easier by placing all our hope and trust in Him – confident that the Good Shepherd never wavers, tires, rests or stops pursuing and seeking the lost sheep, the aching members, the most poor and needy of his glorious flock. When a person encounters the Divine Physician, He removes the blocks and barriers, the obstacles and hurdles, the speed bumps and fences, the significant childhood pains and major life stresses that only faith, hope, love and trust can provide. Our gracious Lord invites us on this great adventure to join Him on the journey of life and the spiritual movements of heart that help us go from what seems not that great to allowing God’s grace and spirit to bring us to a place that is better on this spiritual pilgrimage our Lord has won and gained for us- giving us all the confidence to know and believe with unwavering faith that we must persevere in and through prayer. At times, unfortunately, we lose heart and lack faith to believe our Lord is journeying with us and will never abandon us. We go from believing to seriously doubting in a second flat- from confidence to doubt, from good to bad, from better to worst, from the present to the past, from doing good to promoting evil. Our spiritual journey is meant to move us forward, closer to God through scripture, in communion and deeper intimacy with God. We are not meant to return to evil or return to sin again. Contrition of heart, amendment of life, changing our ways, faithfully drawing closer to God is a confident step in the right direction.  

“Stop lying to one another.” At the heart of our human condition, is a most profound and an increasing and unfortunate sadness that plagues our children, our families, our society and even ourselves. We simply keep lying to one another to the point that we prefer a lie to the truth. We say the truth hurts when Jesus teaches us the truth always sets us free. Unfortunately, we have grown old and so accustomed to lying that at times we even encourage our children and one another to forgo telling the truth. We unfortunately believe it is more advantageous to tell a lie. It is more profitable and more likely to keep us from harm or from trouble with the law or in-laws, with our relatives, our spouses and our employers. What a lie that is, is becoming and has plagued our way of relating to one another in this world. We minimize and eliminate the truth. We omit certain parts and embellish others. We mask the truth with a lie and then we lie about it. We twist and stretch the truth. We manipulate it, transform and enhance it. We believe “a little white lie,” “a small exaggeration,” “a stretching of the truth,” is okay. It doesn’t hurt anyone. No one will know the difference and yet you do, and we still choose to do it. Lying is not from God. It is a vice not a virtue.  It is wrong and could never be perceived as something that is good and that anything good can flow and come from a lie. The truth is Jesus is the Way, the only Way to the Father, to heaven, to eternity, to our family and friends who have gone before us in faith and now rest in eternal peace. Jesus is the Truth that sets us free – the Truth that no one can love us better – the Truth that God so loves us that He sent His only Son to die freely and lovingly for you and me. Jesus is the Life that the Father gave us who lived only in truth and truly suffered and died because of one lie and the many lies of others. If you lie to another, you are only deceiving and lying to yourself. It is not real; it didn’t really happen that way. A lie does not change or alter the truth – just your perspective on it and what you want others to believe is true. A lie is harmful. No good decision can come from it.  

“Lord, on the day I called for help, you answered me.” The fear of being helpless terrifies us. For some, it consumes our mental state – thinking about it, worrying about it. It really can petrify us. We drown in fear, worry, helplessness – in the concern of being left alone with no support and no one around to assist us in our time of trouble and greatest need. It terrifies our state of being. It challenges our mental state and spiritual senses.  It overwhelms and overtakes our peace. We consider those daunting thoughts: What if I am left alone? What if no one shows? What if I call out and no one hears me? What if I ask for assistance and they ignore me, forget me, leave me alone, never respond? The fear of helplessness is a terrible thing and a great pain to experience- facing our finiteness and knowing we cannot do it on our own. We can experience that terrible and dreadful feeling of helplessness when we cannot control the outcome, change a person’s mind, protect our children from harm or danger or must work a dead-end job. We can feel helpless when a friend or family member loses a loved one or we experience the loss of a job, the loss of that long time, childhood friend or a pet. We can feel helpless when the weather does not cooperate with our plans, when we encounter corrupted people or experience selfish minds… when impatience devours our mind and anger eats up precious time, when the traffic light won’t change quickly enough, when other drivers do not get out of the way, when it seems the slowest people on earth will make you late again. We can even feel helpless when we just don’t want to or cannot seem to pray for assistance and ask God for strength and encouragement. It is a terrible thing to encounter and a dreadful thing to consider, needing help, asking for it and there is not a soul or helpful person to be found. You know that dreadful, helpless feeling but God will never let you down. God is always around helplessly listening for the cries of those who need His help.

“If I may ask you this favor, please do not go on past your servant.” One of the many things that truly astounds me as I grow in a greater understanding of our faith, mature in spiritual confidence, come to a greater awareness of myself and become more truly informed and enlightened in this spiritual age is the lack of awareness, knowledge and understanding I possess in knowing and remembering that God is truly with me always, every day. To remember and never forget that God is truly by me, standing always by my side. He is always listening to me, to all I say, pouring His life in me always, always sharing the mutual grace that leads me and sustains me, providing all the love that bonds us and binds us always, united in a bond of holy covenant, binding us to each other in a sacred union that can never be broken, separated, undone or ever forgotten. God is always standing by me, with me, by my side, from the inside always. That is such a profound reality that should never be dismissed or forgotten. Then why is it at times that I fail to always remember that the Lord is always with me, never leaving or forsaking me but always uniting me more deeply through the gift of His Word and the bond of charity flowing through Holy Communion. Why is it so easy to forget and not always to remember His saving grace, to rely on His sacred presence, or to ask and beg Him to make His presence known, cherished, felt. To beg like Abraham and ask for the gracious favor that the Lord would not pass us by or to silently remain perpetually united to Him like Mary, the sister of Martha and Lazarus who quietly remained by His side from the inside as He actively remained united to her in her heart and through her prayer. Each so amazingly aware of God’s immanent presence, understanding their need for sacred union and knowing that only God could provide for what they truly needed. Like the glorious prophets and patriarchs, like all the holy angels and saints, we need to pray for a greater awareness of God’s holy presence, His nearness, his closeness to us that we may turn to Him always, making a full return to Him and not ignore or forget Him but rather remain in the knowledge of His love and His loving presence. To pray, recall, remember God is by your side always, from the inside.